BEAST MODE …..  what about that label?

Seahawks fever is bursting thermometers here in the Pacific Northwest.  Even those of us who are rather blasé about the sport, and feel much of the culture surrounding it is unhealthy have tuned in a bit.

 Marshawn Lynch, one of the Seattle team's star running backs, is beast like in his strength and power on the field.  The fans have tagged him and his moves with the term, Beast Mode.  The Urban Dictionary defines Beast Mode as,
   " A hype, energetic, outgoing, wilding-out state of mind."  A second definition reads "Superhuman state of being in which animal instincts take over mind and body."

Our three year old grandson is energetic and outgoing. In fact,  sometimes his energy explodes into what you could call a 'wilding-out' state of mind.  He loves to talk in a guttural roar and there are times it seems animal instincts have taken over his body even when he isn't pretending to be a tiger or lion or bear.  He gives us immeasurable joy and abundant smiles.

For Christmas he received a toddler-sized Seahawks t-shirt with BEAST MODE emblazoned across the front.  The perfect gift, we all thought.

Now, if you have followed this blog at all, you know I notice T-shirts and what they are saying.  My grand-daughter's Be Nice shirt plus her Make Yourself Proud shirt have both prompted wondering that turned into posts.

Not sure the Beast Mode shirt would have had that same effect until my husband and I were driving home from the holiday gatherings.  When I commented on the hilarity around the Beast Mode t-shirt, my always-thinking and often-wise husband said he hoped we were not sticking our adorable Mr. G with a tightly adhesive label. Oh sheesh …. really?  I wanted to dismiss that as phooey …. and yet I kept wondering about it.

Could we potentially miss out on the sweet and tender side of this boy if he learns to conform to the behaviors associated with the label we have given him?  Could it even direct or script the path in life he chooses to lead?   I know….pretty strong stuff to lay on one little T-shirt,  and possibly very unlikely, but worth at least wondering about, I think.  Are there other things we are saying to or around this young boy that he is taking in.  How careful do we have to be?

Child psychologist, Brenna Hicks, reminds us on her blog, The Kid Counselor, to keep in mind the implications even harmless labels can have, especially on our children, in regard to their self-esteem, behavior and developing personalities.

She reminds us about families with children who have been officially diagnosed with an emotional, behavioral or mental disorder who have learned the power of labeling and know the hard work involved in helping their child live beyond that defining label.

She suggests we think carefully about the impact of labels and recommends we give intentional thought to the words we choose if we must define certain things about our children for ourselves or others.

      "….try to choose positive versions of the same trait, i.e. "spirited" rather than "hyper", "cautious" instead of "timid".

It makes sense.  It takes work and intention.  Our children and grandchildren are worth it.

Recently, I saw a photo of a child holding a sign with these words, Please don't label me.  Let me grow up and choose for myself.   Maybe someone can find a way to fit that message on a child size T-shirt.

 In the meantime, GO HAWKS!

The Gold Medal of Courage .....

Watching the Olympics gives me goosebumps, then lumps in my throat, then jaw-dropping doses of amazement. But most of all, I marvel at the COURAGE so many of these world athletes exhibit as they dig deep to fly over a pommel horse, congratulate the competitor who just beat them by less than a tiny slice of a second, or find a way to be gracious as their careers and hard work go sideways or even end.

In the high school Leadership classes I taught, we talked a great deal about courage.  Our class code asked each student leader (many of them elected by their peers) to dig deep to keep their word, include everyone, stick their neck out when they saw injustice or dishonesty, and try to bring their best self to each day.  We acknowledged the COURAGE it takes to stand up for what you believe to be right - especially in the face of potential ostracism from friends or classmates.   And then we tried HARD to practice it.

 The final assignment asked the students to pick a quote that spoke to them about the qualities we had studied and tried to emulate in our Leadership program.  It required a paper examining how the quote reflected the student's  understanding of leadership and an oral presentation to the class summarizing their thoughts.

"Robby" was in one of those classes.  He had been born with complications in the brain that impacted his speech, his gait and his cognitive ability.  Robby waited until the last day to give his oral presentation.

He had chosen Abraham Lincoln's quote about character:

            Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

On the day of his oral presentation he arrived in class looking worried and shaky.  One of the girls in the class offered to write his quote on the board when he struggled with the chalk and the spelling.  Once the quote was on the board,  he turned to his classmates and haltingly spoke about POWER.  He spoke of TV shows and commercials where people used  POWER to tease others, drive a car real fast, or blow something up.  He spoke of school life where POWER meant being popular.  Finally he spoke to his group of classmates - many of them elected leaders - who had befriended him, who had high-fived him when they passed him in the hallways, who had thought up the idea of having him wear the school mascot costume at the basketball games and the POWER he felt in that incognito role of THOR.

When he finished, I could not speak - and still these years later, as I remember this, the tears come.  The room fell silent that day.  Then "CJ", a tall and powerfully popular senior, spoke.  "We have been talking about COURAGE all semester long.  Today we saw it!"

 I will never ever forget the lesson I learned that day from Robby about the incredible COURAGE it takes to be vulnerable!  Now, in retirement, without students to teach me about vulnerability and authenticity, I find Brene Brown's TED talks and blog inspire me. 

Were CJ's words Robby's gold medal that day?  I wonder. 
  I imagine Robby watching these Summer Games.  How I wish I could put him on the medal stand!  

Maybe we could hold our own summer games - the Olympics of Authenticity!  Go for the Gold.