Sunday, February 9, 2020

"In-the-Weeds"


“In-the-Weeds”

“In-the-Weeds” my family called me. Till I was well beyond forty….and still, occasionally. 

This had absolutely nothing to do with weeds (though I loved playing in wild backyards), or my rather messy appearance.  Sitting still didn’t come easily and my mother’s refrain of “I couldn’t do a thing with her hair - it had a mind of its own” still echoes through my fond memories of her. 


Funny how this moniker that stuck for who-knows-what reasons came to be mine BEFORE I grew hair, and while I was still swaddled and suckled and kept away from any weeds. 

It was my sister’s invention.  Two and a half when I arrived home from the hospital, she struggled with the consonant and vowel blends of my given name - Margaret Louise is a mouthful for a toddler . 
 My family found my sister’s “In-the-Weeds” endearing and fun … which it is.... and so repeated and shared it often. And perhaps, over time, as that bald, swaddled baby grew into me, and after my sister was fully able to pronounce my name, “In-the-Weeds” stuck because it fit.  

I am kind of unmanicured and all over the place.  I still struggle to sit still and my hair continues to have a mind of its own. And though, I would love to think “In-the-Weeds” stuck because I was endearing and fun, I think my family thought it fit for lots of other reasons.  
And I’m OK with that, because though I'll always remember the nick-name, what stays with me the most and the deepest, is the love and smile in their eyes when they called me “In-the-Weeds.”

Today I am uneasy with the nick names being given right and left to others, often opponents,  by fully grown adults acting far less mature than most toddlers.  These nicknames are given to belittle and demean.  There is NO desire that they be endearing ....funny perhaps, but always  at the expense of another (and to me,  there is NOTHING funny in that).   The nicknamer's intent is Not to endear.... there is no smile or warmth.  They are meant to hurt and put-down.  

 I am wondering what our children and youth are thinking as they observe this. 


I wonder too what they think about their own nick-names. Do they sense love and warmth and endearment when they hear them?   I sure hope so.