Friday, June 29, 2018

My Heart is an Off-Road Vehicle




We drive that stunner of a North Cascades Highway headed for our annual family reunion and the curious four year old grandson in the back seat peers through his car window while he volleys forward his usual plethora of questions.  

What made the fire start that burned all the trees?

How did the fire get across the river to the other side?

Where does the water come from in that waterfall?

What animals live in this forest?

Which ones live way up on the top of that top mountain?

What makes the water so green?

And when there are still miles to cover, and he is DONE with the car,  and he wants to BE there…..

Bapa, is this an off-road vehicle?

When the answer isn’t affirmative, his imagination describes the last of our journey if it were….

“We’d jump the river, zoom through the forest, rev straight up to the top of the mountain, then bump all the way down…. and we’d BE THERE!”

********


Now, three days later at the close of this family reunion…..I sit at the lake’s shore - the tea in my mug and the sweet birdsong bringing me and the day awake…..And suddenly, I am crying …. not simply from the beauty I sit in, but the realization that my heart is that off-road vehicle.

It feels giant-sized, super strong, unsurpassable!

Pumped by the relentless squirt gun battles, whiffleball games, soccer matches and gut-busting laughter. .....Revved from the catch up conversations with each beloved..... Set into a steady rhythm by the “signal-less” surroundings free of texts, emails, and troublesome news.... bumped into steadiness by the magic that is our history and years-long legacy, it is filled up and broken open.  

It could jump a river!





Wednesday, April 25, 2018

A "God" in our Palm


I see us waiting…..for the bus, the boat, our coffee, our turn with the doctor…. 
head down, palm up - in an almost prayer-like posture.…  
to a persistent God. 
This Diety sucks us in. Glues us to itself.  Holds our souls.  
Connects us…. to what?  
more news?
 friends' and family’s needs?
 work demands? 
schedules?
 time chunks?
 music to soothe us? 
movies to entertain us? 
podcast info?
 rants?
 feuds?
 laughs?
 tears?
  Certainly not, it would seem, to those waiting alongside us, 
or….
 to ourselves.

Is this the new public hiding place?  The replacement for  books, magazines or newspapers….but with endless articles, titles, and features …. so you never ever need even look up? (Unless….oh my…. the battery goes dead….and the coveted spots in the coffee shop or airport where outlets live, are taken).   
I suppose it might seem a bit predatory these days to simply sit and look…or people watch. 

Is this our new safe space?  A place where we can be alone?   Where nothing is asked of us?  No one awaits our response or our smile or our opinion or our action….
unless we choose to engage?

Perhaps this Diety… this Force with whom we are spending so much of our day is benevolent….. protecting the shy teen from the angst of not being included in the circle of conversation next to them.  Lovingly providing needed relief to the introvert who has had enough of the party…or assurance to the socialite who needs to hear frequent pings.
  Perhaps ….

And while we wait with our head bowed down to this "God" in our palm,  does another Force wait for us
 to leave the competition in our coat pocket or purse…and spend time…
 in silence,
 in emptiness,
 in noticing, 
in breathing, 
in conversation, 
in wonder,
and yes, in rants, feuds, laughter and tears….

 In simple Connection… 
with others…

 and with ourselves?