STUCK !!

I'm stuck ..... in a place of malaise.  And I don't like it .... one bit.

I sit at my writing desk in the mornings and struggle to be creative or think of  new ideas or get my ideas to go anywhere.  I want to write a fabulous children's book and November is PiBoIdMo (Picture Book Idea Month).    This is the children's writers' equivalent of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).  While those novel writers are tossing down 1500+ words per day this month, we children's book writers are to generate oodles of picture book ideas each day of November.

 Sound easy?

My little notebook has only five or six page-fulls ... and it's a damn small notebook!

It's NOT easy ... at least when you are stuck!

Stuck looks and feels yucky!   I am doubting my ability to be goofy or to think like a child or to ever ever come up with the edgy, off the wall, never-thought-of-before stuff that the publishers seem to want.

And then this comes crashing in .... do I need to give this dream up?

Dammit it --- NO!   ( I hope not, anyway).

But I do need to find a way to get un-stuck.  To lift the fog and feel light again.

I am not asking those who love and care about me to rush in with encouragement or platitudes, chicken soup or flowers,  or to humor me with the weird facial hair they have going for Movember.

All I know right now is this..... when I heard myself say I had nothing to blog about this week, this thought appeared ....

My blogspot's title is COURAGEOUS Wonderings.
And I think it takes some courage to say, "I'm in a funk."

The WONDER of knowing you are loved ....

I visited my Mom in Arizona last week.  She will be 100 in March!!!   We are planning a big party.... the family will gather.  More than once during our visit she remarked,  "I hope I live long enough so I can come to the party."

I hope she does too.

It was a good visit and though she talked of dying frequently, it often was with a bit of humor or a peacefulness.

Whenever we say good-bye in person or on the phone, we each say "I love you."  She said it first this time and after I replied with "I love you too, Mom" she said, "I know you do!"

 That is when my throat closed up (and does again as I type this).  For isn't that, after all, the most wonderful thing of all .... knowing we are loved.

This week I am wondering if those I love know it ....