BEING SILLY :))))))

It's that time of year when for one day deep in October, dressing up and acting silly is OK!

I wonder why it seems OK to be silly when we are dressed in a costume or hiding behind a mask ---- is it not OK to be silly when we are dressed in our own clothes and don't have a mask on?

I LOVE being silly.  I love to sing silly songs with made-up crazy words.  I love to dance silly dances or walk like a giant or a bird or Cruella de Vil.  I love to talk like Donald Duck.  I love to contort my face into silly expressions.
No wonder there are times when I wish I could return to my childhood ....  when silly somehow seemed more acceptable.

 Merriam/Webster's take on SILLY makes me sad:
having or showing a lack of thought, understanding or good judgement; not practical or sensible, meaningful or important; ridiculous, irrational, frivolous

Well,  Noah Webster and George and Charles Merriam ... I say POOLEYBAH on that !  And yup, that word isn't in your dictionary.

What is more fun than a silly joke?  When my granddaughter spends the night, we often hide rubber chickens in an unsuspecting someone's bed.  When she stayed over for two school nights recently I packed a silly something alongside her apples slices and sandwich in her lunch sack each day.  Her second grade friends and even the principal couldn't wait to see what would show up at lunch.  Granted, she acted like it was all a great big fat embarrassment, but deep down inside, I wanna think she got a little giggle from it and maybe even enjoyed the attention a bit.  And most importantly, I think she knew that I was imagining her sweet smile when I packed that silliness alongside my love into her lunch sack.

 Mr. Webster and both Mr. Merriams, you are probably right ... a baby rubber chicken or plastic glasses with a warty nose attached is not practical or sensible in a school lunch...it is ridiculous and irrational and frivolous, but you will never convince me that when SILLY says I Love You or Please Smile or Goofy Is Good Sometimes, it is not meaningful and important.

We adults often seem hesitant to let our silly sides show.  I wonder why.
 Are we worried that others will think we are having or showing a lack of thought, understanding or good judgement?

Maybe we should rethink that.  After all, don't we want our children to worry less about what others think?

I hope that whenever we get the chance, we allow (and even encourage) our kids and grandkids to find time to be silly!  It's important.

Dog Day Reads!!!

Each time I see one of these road-side libraries …. take a book or leave a book…. each exchange requiring nothing….motivated by a simple love of reading and books and sharing, I feel happy!  And this sweet one above gets the cupcake-with-cream-cheese-frosting-on-top prize.  I hope the wonderful someone or two on Lummi Island, Washington who created this are licking the frosting off their lips and fingertips.  A stain-glass window and driftwood handle …… WOW!

If you haven't read a good book or three to or with a child this summer, these Dog Days are the perfect time!  Get at it.

A good place to start is by checking out the Association of Library Service to Children's 2014 list of Notable Books.  This is always where I begin. They conveniently break their selections into four categories - Younger Reader (preschool to grade 2), Middle Readers (grades 3-5, ages 8-10), Older Readers (grades 6-8, ages 11-14), and All Ages (has appeal and interest for children in all the above age ranges).  These library specialists choose books of "commendable quality that exhibit venturesome creativity".  Doesn't venturesome creativity seem the perfect description for what kids should be up to in the summer?

Although you aren't likely to find any of the books on that list in the quaint road-side library in your neighborhood,  your public library or independent book store will surely have most of them.

We are taking our grandkids on a train trip for the next two days.  I hope this experience creates opportunities for venturesome creativity…. but I am headed to the library soon to have a few new books to tuck into our backpacks to insure that it does.

Happy Reading!  Happy Dog Days!

Licking and Grooming....Not just for Rats!

I am going to use Paul Tough's new book HOW CHILDREN SUCCEED, Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character  as the reason why this blog post is late.

I am hooked on every word!  It is not a long book, but it is thick with data, science, long term studies and provocative thought.

It seems rather ironic that I am reading it just when so many school kids and teachers are hunkered down under the pressure of state and federally mandated testing because this book.... and here I paraphrase the book jacket ...... 'challenges the story we usually tell about childhood .... that success comes to those who score highest on tests.  In How Children Succeed, Paul Tough argues that the qualities that matter have more to do with character skills like perseverance, curiosity, optimism, and self-control.'

Reading that alone made me want to shout AMEN. During my career in the classroom we knew (but only anecdotally and subjectively) about the need to develop character right alongside teaching math, history, geography and the five paragraph essay ... but to think that this book might offer proof through careful scientific data and long term study, plus ways to use this knowledge to transform young people's lives, our schools, our parenting and especially to improve the lives of children growing up in poverty - this has me stoked...and hooked.  At least that's what I hope this book is going to tell us....but I'm not there yet - only about sixty fascinating, underlined, dog-eared pages into it.

 I expect several blog posts to bubble up out of all the wonderings this powerful book is bringing up for me.  Here is the first one.....

We were on a family vacation recently (that, more likely, is the real reason for the tardy blog post).  We have a wonderful new baby grandson and on this trip I watched my daughter in law .... at every feeding, diaper change, or free moment ... kiss and nuzzle his sweet two month old face, pick at every piece of lint or dry skin on his round growing body, rub his soft bald head, or simply hold those little fingers that wrapped around hers.  Now it pains me to put our wonderful cherubic grandchildren (or my lovely DIL)  in the same paragraph with rats but Paul Tough talks in this book about studies with rats (led by neuroscientist, Michael Meany) done to expand our understanding of the relationship between parenting and childhood stress. Rat mothers (dams) were observed licking and grooming their offspring (pups) when the pups were returned to the cage following testing, in order to lower the stress hormones that become elevated when they are out of the cage exposed to the rigors of the tests and human handling.  Of course, they observed rat moms who were big L and G-ers (as the scientists termed them) and rat moms who weren't as much. So they decided to set up regular observations to keep score of the  L and G time and then to see if there were any long-term effects of these parenting behaviors on the young rats.

When the rat 'pups' were fully grown, the researchers gave them a series of tests that compared the offspring of the high LG (licked and groomed)  rats with the low LG rats.  The specifics in the book are fascinating but suffice it to say, that on each test the high LG offspring excelled - better at mazes, more social, more curious, less aggressive, healthier, lower levels of stress hormones, more self-control, lived longer.   AND ...  the L and G did not have to come just from the biological mother to produce those effects!

Now perhaps this is more of a "DUH" than an "A-HA" for most, and daunting to anyone trying to assist and improve the lives of disadvantaged children, but here is what Paul Tough says....

           "We now know that early stress and adversity can literally get under a child's skin, where it can cause damage that lasts a lifetime.  But there is also some positive news in this research. It turns out that there is a particularly effective antidote to the ill effects of early stress, and it comes not from pharmaceutical companies or early-childhood educators but from parents.  Parents and other caregivers who are able to form close, nurturing relationships with their children can foster resilience in them that protects them from many of the worst effects of a harsh early environment.  This message can sound a bit warm and fuzzy, but it is rooted in cold, hard science.  The effect of good parenting is not just emotional or psychological, the neuroscientists say, it is biochemical."

Today I am wondering how we as a society can help provide this necessary nurturing to all children.